Admitting things aren’t going well in your relationship can feel impossible, especially when you are still very much in love with your significant other. And finding a way to tell your partner that things aren’t going how you would like them to can be one of the hardest conversations you will have in your relationship – however admitting that there is a problem that needs to be fixed and working on it together is often extremely beneficial to a happy life together.
Having problems in your relationship and not being able to solve them can begin to alter all of the other areas of your life. Your relationships with other people, your performance at work and your diet and sleep patterns can all be affected, oftentimes snowballing into a much bigger issue than the problem in hand. Ignored issues within your relationship can also lead to or worsen mental health conditions and – particularly if you’re living with your partner – leave you feeling like you have no escape from your problems.
What to do if you’re experiencing problems in your relationship
First things first, speak to your partner. It can feel scary to admit – even to yourself – that you’re having problems and that everything isn’t as perfect like many people portray their relationships to be. It is important to remember almost all relationships have their own problems – from trivial arguments to sleeping in separate rooms – but if you find that the trust between you has been broken, you’re arguing more frequently or you’re finding you can’t communicate, it is often time to look into how you can improve the relationship.
Speaking to each other about what is concerning you is often the first step towards resolving the issues within your relationship, whilst opening up to each other can often relieve both stress and tension between the two of you. Once you have opened up with each other, for many couples – particularly those who struggle with issues around trust and communication – couples’ therapy can be extremely beneficial in helping you to express yourselves to each other and working out the right way to move forward with your relationship.
When’s the “Right Time”?
Often couples who are having problems leave seeking advice or professional help until a last resort, however a number of different studies have found the earlier couple’s therapy is sought, the more likely a couple will be to resolve their problems. Unfortunately, there is no “right time” and every relationship – and it’s issues – vary from person to person making it impossible to provide a blanket rule of when to seek help. If you’re in a relationship where you struggle to communicate or to express yourselves to each other, often a third party can be beneficial, even early on in your relationship – despite you not yet having what others may perceive as “problems”.
For many couples, one or both of you might be considering couples therapy, but are unsure of how to bring it up with the other and as life continues around us, it can be easy to put to the back of your mind whilst you focus on everything else. Couples don’t need to be having problems in order to seek therapy, and across the country many couples choose to seek therapy despite not having any problems in their relationship. There is no right time for everyone, however if you do feel like therapy could be something that would benefit your relationship, the sooner you seek therapy often the more successful the outcome.
Why do people leave it to the last minute?
Couple’s therapy and marriage counselling has always carried a certain amount of negative stigma, with many people not enjoying the idea of inviting a third person into their relationship. Sometimes people believe if their relationship isn’t functioning to the point where they’re thinking about therapy, then it is time to let go. Others are worried about what their friends and family might think, whilst some people are scared about what they might discover, or the eventual result of the sessions.
Like with any form of therapy, visiting a professional about your problems can feel scary and embarrassing – and most people avoid seeking therapy for a multitude of different problems and issues, until it becomes a last resort. As an individual, finding a therapist who is local to you, who has time in their schedule when it also suits yours and who you can connect with and open up to can take time and a lot of effort – when you add another person, their schedule and their preferences for a particular therapist, for example, the task can feel much more difficult.
Online therapy is a great way to participate in couples’ therapy without disrupting either of your schedules. Unlike traditional clinics, online therapy offers you the exact same professional services through a range of fully qualified psychologists – at a time that suits you both, from the location that suits you both. There are no long waiting lists and therapy can be accessed as quickly as a click of a button and a quick questionnaire – making it easier and quicker, as well as discreet.
If you’re having problems in your relationship and feel like couples counselling or marriage therapy could be beneficial to moving things forward and getting your relationship back to where it should be, visit our website and new interactive online platform to learn more about how online therapy could help you.